Written and Directed by Faith Brown
– One Window
– Backpacks (all cast members)
– Lunchbox (Ollie)
– School Supplies (Books, Paper, Pencils, Etc.)
– Notebook (Ev)
– Cell Phones (all cast members)
– Picture Frames (W/ Pictures)
– Benches (x2)
In order of appearance
Oliver/Ollie (m)…in love with Simon, just kinda there, quiet, shy, in the closet (obviously).
Voice of reason.
Simon (m)…Evangeline’s best friend, in love with Evangeline, Ollie’s love interest, sporty,
outgoing, smart, respectful, typical “boy next door”, he is completely oblivious towards Ollie’s
signs of interest and is occasionally romantic and flirtatious with Evangeline.
Evangeline/Ev (f)…Alexandra’s love interest, Simon’s best friend, in love with Alexander,
smart, stressed in general, uses humor as a defense mechanism, apologetic, open-minded,
respectful, oblivious to Simon’s pick-up lines and romantic gestures..
Alexander/Alex Dual (m)…Evangeline’s love interest.
Alexandra/Alex Droft (f)…in love with Evangeline, bi, aloof, kind-hearted, hopeless romantic.1
Linus/Peanut (m)…Evangeline’s older brother, laid back, nickname came from middle school
where he carried around a blanket in his backpack and someone saw, has been called “Peanut”
ever since because of his name, doesn’t really care, but cares a lot for his younger sister.
Synopsis: Caught in a love…tangle, Evangeline’s love is accidentally confessed to the wrong
Alex, creating tension, confusion, and disappointment for other students around her who feel
differently, or even the same. At the end of the day, will everything still be the same? Or will
there be tears and heartache? Welcome to chaos!
(Setting: SCHOOL HALLWAY; lockers center stage, signs, graffiti, bench in front of lockers,
centered between lockers and edge of stage, still leaving room for movement on each side. BELL
rings and STUDENTS flood the hallway from each stage, scatter, chitchat, go off stage, etc)
Ollie: (Enters with SIMON through right stage door, AFTER all other STUDENTS have left the
“classroom”) All I’m saying is that Spiderman is totally a better superhero to be than Ant-Man,
and I don’t need to keep explaining to you why, because the Marvel universe doesn’t interest you
anyway, and you don’t need to be right all of the time, especially about things you don’t even
know, and don’t get me started with the fact // that –
Simon: (Interrupting OLLIE with his pointer finger on his mouth) Shh.
Ollie: (Is completely still)…that >
Simon: (pointer finger still on OLLIE’s mouth) Stop.
Ollie: (remains still) you // don’t –
Simon: (pointer finger still) Know when to stop.
Ollie: (slowly takes SIMON’s finger off his lips with his pointer and thumb, puts it down, beat.)
listen…in the first place.
(SIMON flick’s OLLIE’s forehead)
Simon: Alrighty then, well, thank you for this – um, we should go and meet Ev at her locker.
Ollie: (annoyed, nods unenthusiastically, checks watch, suddenly realizes something)
Simon: Great! Let’s go. (Begins to walk SL)
Ollie: Uh, (Lightly taps SIMON’s shoulder, SIMON turns back to face OLLIE) Simon? It’s only
(Beat. SIMON says nothing, only looks confused, looks around a little)
Ev doesn’t get out of History until 9.
We still have // thirty minutes.
Simon: Yeahyeahyeah, thirty minutes, I know, I’m not a complete idiot.
Ollie: So…why are you so // eager >
Simon: (Defensive) I don’t know, Ollie, alright?
Ollie: To get to her locker, when // there’s >
Simon: (Annoyed) Oh my god.
Ollie: So much // time >
Simon: (interrupts OLLIE again, same way as before) Know.
Ollie: Le // ft..
Simon: When to stop.
(SIMON takes his finger off, beat.)
Ollie: So, do you wanna just // wait here >
Simon: (Sits down on bench, gets on phone) Yes.
Ollie: For Ev…oh…(Sits next to SIMON. Beat.) Haha, “FOR”…. “EV”, kinda like we’re (SIMON
gives him a sharp and long look) waiting – (Notices SIMON’s look, slowly stops awkwardly
laughing. Looks at the ground. SIMON looks back at phone. Beat.)
(LIGHTS go down)
(Setting: SCHOOL HALLWAY, LIGHTS come back up again, OLLIE is doing homework, SIMON
has his head in his hands, elbows on knees, eyes closed, EVANGELINE comes out SL with
ALEXANDER laughing, EVANGELINE wears her backpack with both straps on each shoulder,
ALEXANDRA also comes out of that classroom, but exits through SR instead. SIMON jumps up
once hearing EV’s laugh, turns around to them, and OLLIE turns his head to SIMON, then to EV
and ALEXANDER slightly, and turns back to homework)
Evangeline: (Laughing) Oh, oh, my goodness, Haha! Holy crap, Alex! I can’t believe you! That
was hilarious! Especially the part when you (whispers into his ear, they BOTH start cracking up
in the middle of the hallway, EVERYONE now looking at them).
Alexander: (laughing, but calming down, same with EV) That wasn’t nearly as funny as you
though with yourEvangeline: (Smiling, playfully:) Don’t you say it!!
Alexander: Snort laugh!
(EVANGELINE and ALEXANDER start cracking up again, SIMON stands up, walks towards
them, tense, speaks slowly and awkwardly. Fake smiling and laughing weird, SIMON taps EV’s
shoulder, she turns around, still laughing)
Evangeline: (Catching her breath) Oh, hi Simon! I didn’t even see you there!
Simon: (Awkward) Haha, yeah, I uh, noticed.
Evangeline: (Looks past SIMON, notices OLLIE, waves) Hey Ollie!
Ollie: (Turns slightly again to EV, nods head, quietly says:) …Hi (Returns to homework)
Evangeline: (To SIMON) What’s up with // him?
Simon: I dunno, he’s been like this all morning, anyway, um, so what’s…so..uh…what’s funny?
(Evangeline and Alexander look to each other, snicker, and start cracking up again)
Simon: (awkward, slowly) Ha, haha …ha…ha…hey, haha, uh, nobody answered me..
Evangeline: (Calms down again, puts a hand on SIMON’s shoulder, laughing through her
words, catching her breath:) Ha, awe, I’m.. I’m so sorry, buddy.
(Simon lowers shoulders at the term “Buddy”, STOPS being tense)
Alex and I // were just –
Simon: (Quickly and confused) Alex?
Evangeline: (Excited) Oh, right, ha! I’m dumb. (grabs ALEXANDER by his shoulder and pulls
him closer to SIMON) This is Alex, Alex-Simon, Simon-Alex, (to SIMON:) he moved here last
week and we have History together // so we’ve –
Simon: (Confused and shocked) HISTORY?
Evangeline: (Also confused by SIMON’s statement) Um …yeah, with Mr. Lip?
Simon: (Realizes he wasn’t thinking what he thought)…oh…oh yeah.
(Small awkward beat, EV and ALEXANDER exchange confused glances, OLLIE rolls his eyes
dramatically as he starts picking up his stuff and walks towards everyone else)
Evangeline: (To SIMON:) Are you okay?
Simon: (Frantic, embarrassed, loud) Of course! [Note: If SIMON actor can voice crack on
command, include that in the sentence]
(OLLIE, EV, and ALEXANDER are looking at him, OLLIE is now closely behind him at this
Alexander: (Clears throat) Okay! (Claps hand together) Well, it has been…nice, meeting you, I
mean…um… I’m going to head to lunch, (Puts hand on EV’s shoulder, smiles) I’ll see you
(SIMON and OLLIE turn around to watch him leave, SIMON first being shocked and
jumpy when he realizes how close OLLIE is, ALEXANDER exits SR on the other side of blue
curtain, waits until AFTER SCENE 2, to exit through hallway door quietly).
Evangeline: (Giddy, waving) Haha! Yeah! See ya! (SIMON and OLLIE turn to her and just
Ollie: What was that?
Evangeline: (Pretending nothing has happened) Hmm?
Ollie: You know, // the –
Simon: (Frantic, fast, slightly upset, assertive) The laughing, the inside jokes, the touching, the
fact that you’ve never mentioned him to us before?
Evangeline: (Eyes wide, feeling attacked) Woah, slow down there buddy.
(OLLIE steps back a little bit, knowing what’s about to happen)
Simon: Stop calling me “Buddy”! (Uses finger quotes when saying this)
Evangeline: Why? I’ve always called you that!
Simon: Yeah, well, it’s getting old.
(Beat. OLLIE backs up some more)
Evangeline: (Upset) It’s…getting old?
Simon: (Frustrated) Yeah!
Evangeline: You think our friendship is getting…old?
Simon: (Still frustrated, but less) No! It’s just that // I
Evangeline: (Very upset, getting in his face) It’s what? Boring? Tiring? A thing in the past? A
waste of time?
Simon: (Realizes what he’s done, gets upset himself) Wh-Ev, no, I didn’t mean toEvangeline: (Sniffles, begins to walk in the same direction as ALEXANDER) Whatever. Bye
Ollie. (OLLIE waves as she walks past him)
Simon: (Doesn’t move, faces the same direction, in disbelief)
Ollie: (Worrisome) Simon…?
(LIGHTS go down)
(Setting: Cafeteria, TABLES, CHAIRS, STUDENTS quietly chatting to each other, ALEXANDER
is sitting by himself eating, his backpack to the right of him on top of the table, OLLIE enters
UPSTAGE SL with his lunchbox and backpack, takes a deep breath and walks up to
Ollie: Hey, can I talk to you?
Alexander: Oh yeah, sure dude, let me just get this out of your way (As he says this, he puts his
backpack on the ground, now on the left side of him)
Ollie: Thanks (He puts his backpack down the the right of him and puts his lunchbox on the
Alexander: Ollie, right?
Ollie: (Shocked he remembered) Yeah! You, remembered?
Alexander: Of course! Any friend of Ev is a friend of mine! Including that, Simon kid, haha, is
that how he normally is?
Ollie: Um, I want to say no, but I would be lying.
Alexander: Ah, I see, I’m sure he’s just shy then.
(OLLIE can’t help but burst out laughing, knowing perfectly well SIMON is not a shy person)
Woah, is he, not shy? (Takes bite of sandwich)
Ollie: Simon Greene? Thanksgiving comedian of 2016? Bowling champ of the Dovian Beavers
League since he was 10? Sings “We Will Rock You” in zero correct keys for the Talent Show
four years in a row?
Alexander: Yeah, I guess so, if that’s his last name, I’ve only been here a couple of weeks so I’m
not very familiar with this “Simon Greene” character.
Ollie: Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.
Alexander: Yeah? Why’s that?
Ollie: I wanted to apologize for his behavior, he’s very, protective over Ev and is the kind of
person that, doesn’t adjust to new things easily, you know?
Alexander: I guess that makes sense, you three have been friends for like, all your lives, right?
Ollie: Yes sir.
Alexander: Hopefully he’ll come around. (Begins to take drink)
Ollie: Well, I’m sure you will get to know him better, with you being infatuated with Ev as you
so clearly are–
(ALEXANDER spit takes on OLLIE. Beat.)
Alexander: (Coughing through his words) I am so sorry! Hold on I’ll get you some napkins!
(ALEXANDER begins to get up when OLLIE grabs his arm and pulls him back down)
Ollie: Hey don’t worry about it (He unzips his lunchbox and pulls out an unnecessary amount of
Alexander: (Can’t help but stare) Wow, you come prepared.
Ollie: Being best friends with a hyperactive, messy, annoying, jock for many years will do that
(OLLIE looks down and nods his head as he cleans himself off)
Oh, well at least you have a best friend, I’ve moved so many times I haven’t really had the
chance to make any.
Ollie: That’s no fun, I’m sorry.
Alexander: (Shrugs) I’m used to it…I’m not used to having someone like Ev around though, she
really is great.
Ollie: (Smiles at him) Isn’t she?
Alexander: Yeah, she has a sense of humor I didn’t even know existed, and she’s the only
person I’ve ever met who actually enjoys learning about things that have already happened. She
makes it fun.
Ollie: That’s Evangeline for you.
Alexander: I’m hoping to get to know her better as much as I can so maybe we can stay in touch
when I leave again.
Ollie: (Begins to worry, stops smiling) What? W-Why would you leave again? You’re fitting in
great here! Ev really likes you too, you make Ev really happy I can tell.
Alexander: (Disappointed) Yeah, well, my parents are consultants, their client base is often
spread over the country. I don’t stay in places long.
Ollie: (Desperate) I’m sure my mom would adopt you!
Alexander: (Chuckles) Nah, that’s okay, I’ll figure something out.
Ollie: I hope so, I just, really want Ev to be happy, you know?
Alexander: Me too, I can see why she means so much to you guys.
(Setting: Classroom, at least 4 desks, two in front next to each other, others behind and to the
sides of the front two. SIMON sits in the desk SR and ALEXANDRA sits in desk SL. Bell rings
and LIGHTS come on, STUDENTS are in desks behind SIMON and ALEXANDRA working or ad
libbing to one another. SIMON sits sluggishly, upset, on hand under chin and other hand tapping
desk anxiously. ALEXANDRA is calmly writing at her desk)
Simon: (Mumbling, mocks himself from last scene: ) “It’s getting old”….Why did I say that?
(Mumbles some more, maybe changes up arm positioning) ….And what was so funny? I
Alexandra: (Looks over at him, confused, a little offended) Excuse me?
Simon: (Realizing he offended her unintentionally) Oh, nononono, no, not you Alex, sorry…
Alexandra: (Relieved) Oh, okay! (Returns back to work)
(SIMON is relieved that he didn’t embarrass himself even more today, but has a sudden idea,
smirks and moves his desk closer to ALEXANDRA)
Alexandra: (Uncomfortable and confused, looks over at SIMON who is all of a sudden super
close to her) Um, yes?
Simon: Whatcha working on? (knowing very well they are in history class)
Alexandra: (Still confused) Uh…his//tory
Simon: History! Right! Gosh, I am such a forgetful person, I completely forgot we were in
history! Isn’t that crazy?
Alexandra: …Yes? I…I guess? Are you feeling okay?
Simon: (Ecstatically moves his desk right against hers, smiles, looks at her and goes:) Dandy.
Alexandra: If you say so. (Continues to go back to work)
(Beat. SIMON is still staring at her smiling, ALEXANDRA looks over at him and moves her desk
slightly away from his. After a few seconds SIMON moves his desk back next to hers and
ALEXANDRA puts her pencil down, puts her hands together, takes a deep breath and asks:)
Can I help you, sir?
Simon: I am so glad you asked! Because I am having a BIG problem with this girl and you’re a
girl and I was wondering if you could assist me in this dire situation.
Alexandra: Suuurreee, but maybe next time you want help from someone, remember what
personal space is, okay?
Simon: Yeahyeahyeah, okay, anyway, you know Evangeline?
Alexandra: (Gets shy and giddy) Evangeline? Evangeline Simmers? Um, yeah I’ve talked to her
Simon: Well, ma’am, she has a crush on this person named Alex, and I’ve NEVER met them
before! So I thought you might know a few things.
Alexandra: (Gets excited) Really?! Oh wow, oh okay! What do you want to know?
Simon: Well, it seems you like history right? That’s her favorite subject!
Alexandra: Oh my! What a coincidence.
Simon: (Confident his plan is going smoothly) Yes, a funny coincidence! And, I see your
notebook has cats on it, she has two of them!
Alexandra: Yay! I love cats!
Simon: She does too! Oh. My. Gosh! Maybe you’re the Alex she likes!
Alexandra: Maybe!!! What else does she like?
Simon: (Pretending to think) Does piano interest you at all?
Alexandra: I love piano music! I actually sit next to her in orchestra!
Simon: Perfect! Here I’ll give you her number and you guys can talk all about this stuff!
(SIMON writes it down in ALEXANDRA’S notebook and hands it back to her)
Here you go!
Alexandra: (Giddy) Wooow! Thanks!
(She coos over her notebook and SIMON relaxs in his seat, arms behind head, feet on desk,
(LIGHTS fade out)
(Setting: EV’s Room, LIGHTS come back up. BED DSL facing SR, LAMP and WINDOW on R of
BED and NIGHTSTAND L of BED, PICTURES on NIGHTSTAND. EV is lying on her BED doing
homework, stops and checks phone, sighs in disappointment, turns to PICTURE on
NIGHTSTAND and gently puts it face first, then returns to homework. Small beat before:)
Linus: (Knocks on DOOR) Evangeline?
Ev: (Not looking up, projecting:) Yeah?
Linus: (Slightly opens DOOR, peaks through) Hey, is everything okay?
Ev: (Still not looking up) Mmhh.
Linus: Okay…well it doesn’t seem like it.
Ev: (Still not looking up) So?
Linus: So…can I come in?
(Beat. EV slightly looks up to him, looks back down to homework and scooches over so LINUS
can sit down)
Linus: (While EV adjusts, he comes in and shuts the door quietly behind him, facing EV the
whole time, as he walks towards her:) What’s wrong? (Sits down on BED)
Ev: (Defiant) I told you, nothing.
Linus: Oh, please Evangeline, you walked in the door with your backpack on one shoulder and
didn’t take a glance at any of the cats
Linus: Sooo…you’re always worried about your straps breaking, so you wear both of them every
time…and today, you didn’t seem to care…and you’re always eager to find the cats who hide
from me because we both know they love you and mom more. (Says this lovingly and
light-hearted, not upset because the cats hide from him, he could care less)
Ev: (Still upset) Yeah, you’re right, about the things you said, I know how I usually am. I guess
I’m just…tired today…
Linus: Ev if you were tired you would have dropped your bag, snatched Posie and Frank after
you found them, and crashed on the couch with them instead of dragging your pathetic hanging
backpack all the way upstairs and leaving them alone for once.
(Beat. LINUS continues to look at EV, worried)
Why are you lying to me?
Ev: I..I’m not…I don’t know, I’m sorry.
Linus: It’s okay.
Ev: I just, I think I don’t want to talk about it
Linus: (Gives in) Okay, well, (Puts hand on EV’s shoulder) you know where I live if you need
Ev: (Giggles, looks down at homework) You’re stupid. (Continues homework)
(LINUS smiles and pats her one more time before he pushes himself up with his hand on her
shoulder, notices PICTURE she turned over)
Linus: Hey, um, before I go, how’s Simon doing?
(Long beat. EV —suddenly more “awake”— stops writing and looks over to the PICTURE as
well, realizing she probably should have fixed that before her brother came in)
Ev: (Pretend laughs really bad as she gestures to the PICTURE:) HA, hA, Haa, ha, how did that,
ha-happen? Wow! That—that’s crazy man, must have been the… wind!
Linus: Your window is closed, Sis…
Ev: (Glances at WINDOW and slouches again) Uugghh, Linus! If you already know something
then don’t make me have to say it out loud, please.
Linus: (Crouches down to her level, hands together, forearms on knees) I honestly don’t know
anything Ev, I’m serious, I’m just really good at calling out your bull // sh—
Ev: (Gets up, paces, frantic, talking fast) Alrightalrightalright….alright, you got me, you win.
We had a little incident this afternoon, and we haven’t talked since then and that was, like, five
hours ago (gradually begins to rant faster) and he hasn’t texted or called and I don’t know if I
should be the one to say anything, even though it was his fault he got so defensive for absolutely
no reason and just acting really weird and saying bad stuff about our friendship and (Starts
choking up, getting more upset) I don’t know why // because he never gets like that and I just
want to know what I did …wrong…
Linus: (Going to comfort her) Hey, hey, it’s okay, it was one time, and you did nothing wrong,
Ev: (Hugs her brother, still upset, maybe sniffles) But, if it’s not my fault, then I don’t
understand.//..why, all of a sudden…he—
Linus: (Puts hands on EV’s shoulders and pushes her away to meet face to face) It’s because
boys are stupid Ev, especially high school boys who haven’t learned how to control their
Ev: (Calming down) …Yeah, (Small laugh) I realize…
Linus: You’ll be okay, you’re tough and smart and you know Simon well enough to know he
isn’t really like this, right?
(EV nods her head)
I love you baby sister, let me know if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs making dinner.
Ev: (Nods head) I love you too.
(They embrace, LINUS exits SR DOOR and shuts it)
Ev: (Slowly returns to her bed, her phone buzzes and she picks it up, then gasps in horror, and
rushes out the SR DOOR, calling out for:)
(Lights go down)
(Lights fade on. Setting: Behind SIMON’s house, backyard. SIMON is sitting on a different
BENCH, OLLIE comes through CS DOOR carrying two sodas, closing the door behind him.
SIMON looks back at him.)
Ollie: Hey. (Sits next to SIMON, hands him a soda)
Simon: Hey. (Takes the soda)
Ollie: You okay?
Simon: (Confident) Oh, I’m wonderful Oliver (Opens soda, takes a swig, maybe chokes a little
because he was being overly confident and it went down the wrong pipe)
(Beat. OLLIE stares at SIMON in disbelief.)
Ollie: (Confused) Oh, okay. Um, wow, I was not expecting you to be so…chill
Simon: Yup! Everything is going very smoothly.
Ollie: So, I’m guessing you talked to her?
Simon: Uh, no, not exactly.
Ollie: Oh, okay….
(Beat. Ollie plays with the top of his soda can)
So, what happened?
Simon: I, uh….nothing, it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry about it (takes sip of soda)
Ollie: You know I can’t just “not worry” right? I want to know what’s going on too.
Simon: Ha, yeah…I know…
(Beat. Awkward silence, OLLIE gestures SIMON to spill)
Simon: (Hesitates) I…talked to Alex
Ollie: You WHAT? (Puts soda under BENCH) What did you like, beat him up or something?
What could you have possibly said to him, I don’t-
Simon: No, Alex Droft, in my history class. I may have struck up a conversation with her about
Ev and how she has a new crush-
Ollie: (Disappointed) Oh Simon, you didn’t
Simon: Named Alex and I knew she was, you know…
Ollie: Simon that’s not okay. You shouldn’t– No you CAN’T mess with people and their
emotions like that.
Simon: I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stop thinking about Ev and // the things I said.
Ollie: So you decided to sabotage her and drag Alexandra in this too? The poor girl is going to
Simon: How long have we been friends, Ollie? How long have you known me? You really don’t
understand my mind set in this stressful situation?
Ollie: No, I don’t understand….Look, Simon, you’re right, I’ve known you practically my whole
life, but because of that fact, I know how you can get.
Simon: What’s that supposed to mean?
Ollie: Take this afternoon for example, or even a few minutes ago, when you don’t understand
something or you don’t know what to do about a situation, it’s like you’re this little slinky on a
staircase, condensing and then unraveling as things spiral down. Things that are out of your
control. You can’t go and interfere with other people’s lives with the intention of ruining them.
Simon: That…That’s ridiculous! I-I’m not…
Ollie: But you are, and it’s been 18 years and you still don’t realize it. You literally gave hope to
someone else that the person they like likes them back in that same way, knowing that’s not the
case. You get jealous of any other male that Ev’s around, except for me, and that’s because you
know me. You act out because you’re afraid of the unknown intentions these guys could have
when talking to her. I would understand if she was your girlfriend, but she’s not, she’s just not.
Simon: (Sarcastic) Thanks Oliver, you’re a true pal. Stating the obvious like I haven’t tried to
show her how I’ve felt for the past ten years.
Ollie: It’s because you’re also too focused on yourself and how you appear to her. You don’t take
into consideration her personal interest and traits, just vague flirtatious jokes and everyday nice
gentleman gestures that every man should possess, and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just—
Simon: (Enraged) It’s just what?
Ollie: Well if you’d just let me fini//sh I couldSimon: Could what? Keep telling me I haven’t tried being with Ev every year for a decade?
That-That I’m not good enough? That I don’t understand her? That I don’t understand myself?
Ollie: No, Simon, stop that, you’re plenty good enough, you just don’t know how to act upon
that part of yourself.
Simon: Excuse me?
Ollie: Like, maybe think about what she likes and does and create something for her based
around those things. Like how she’s played piano since middle school, how she cares about her
cats more than us, umm…the weird way she writes — half cursive half print— , or the fact that
she’s a total history nerd and that’s like the least // likable subject.
Simon: (Stands up, completely angry) Well then, OLIVER, if you know ssoooo much about
Evangeline than I do, and you’re smarter and more thoughtful than I am, why don’t you just
sweep her off her feet // before Alex does?!
Ollie: I don’t want to.
Simon: Why not? >
Ollie: Because I can’t—
Ollie: I don’t see– [her that way], I’m not —
Ollie: She’s not —
Simon: What’s the matter, expert? >
Ollie: Nothing, I —
Simon: Why can’t you figure this problem out? >
Ollie: Because —
Simon: If you’re the “Ev Expert” (Use finger quotes)?
Ollie: Because —
Simon: Because you’re scared?
Ollie: BECAUSE I’M GAY!
I–I’m gay, Simon, I’m gay and I have been since 8th grade. I didn’t tell you because of this exact
reason. How you act? How you don’t understand that your attitude towards things you don’t like
can change the way a person feels about you? How I personally feel that Alexander is better for
OUR best friend than you are because it’s been ten years and you still find a way to push her
further and further away the more you continue to focus on the way you portray yourself around
Ev, rather than the way you think Ev would want you to. I talked to him, yeah, like you talked to
Alexandra, but instead of being an inconsiderate punk like you were to try and drive him away, I
apologized for YOUR behavior. I did! Me! I shouldn’t have to keep doing that for you. I’ve been
at your side all this time and I’m not afraid to tell you the truth, because that’s it Simon.
(Long Beat. SIMON slowly sits down on his bench, baffled, thinks that what OLLIE’s points may
be true, and may have been true this whole time. Stares at the ground, hands folded in knees. As
he sits down OLLIE stands up and moves a step closer to SL/further from SIMON)
I think I’m gonna head out.
(SIMON looks down, and slowly nods his head up and down. OLLIE nods slowly too, looking
down at the ground, looks up at SIMON before turning around to exit SL. Lights go down)
(Lights fade on. Setting: In front of SIMON’s house, OLLIE enters SR, looking down, LINUS and
EV walk in SR looking at EV’s phone, all 3 bump into each other)
Ollie: OOF! Oh, hey Ev, hey Linus.
Linus: Hey Ollie, what’s up?
Ev: Yeah, why are you walking outside Simon’s house?
Ollie: (Looks down, embarrassed) I uh, I was um…just–
Ev: (Approaches OLLIE, touches shoulder, concerned) Are you okay? Is everything okay?
Linus: Yeah, you seem a little shaken up there, bud
Ollie: (Looks up) I told Simon about something and I don’t think it went too well and I don’t
want him to hate me.
Ev: Oh my gosh, what was it? I’m sure he understa//nds.
Ollie: (Quickly backs away, EV’s hand falls off his shoulder) I don’t want to talk about it.
Linus: (Stands beside EV) Are you sure? You know I’m majoring in psychology.
Ev: Linus everyone knows that, you don’t need to say that every time someone is sad.
Ollie: I..I’m not really ‘sad’ persay, just, things didn’t turn out the way I expected them to, and
that’s really disappointing…
Linus: No, my friend (Approaches OLLIE, puts a hand on his back and pats it, looks at him)
Ev: Ugh, really? You pulled the “That’s Life” thing? On Ollie?
Linus: Yeah, why?
Ev: (Smirks) Okay, Frank Sinatra.
(LINUS moves away from OLLIE towards EV, throws hands up like “Welp, I tried”, before
putting them back in his pockets and stands next to EV, EV however moves towards OLLIE
again, feeling helpless)
Ollie, when you talked to Simon just now, did he say anything about texting Alex?
Ollie: Which one?
Ollie: Yeah. I kinda went off on him about that.
Ev: Well, Simon must have been super pissed at me because apparently he thought it would be
funny to confuse the poor thing.
Ollie: I know, he’s unbelievable
Ev: (Sighs) What I mean is, that after our fight, when he got to his history class, he must have
given her the impression that SHE’S the Alex I have a crush on.
Ollie: So you DO like him? That’s why you were acting so weird around him.
Ev: Yeah, okay, fine, you got me, but that’s not the point. The point is, she’s texting me now,
asking questions about my relationships and sending haikus about historical figures, pianists, and
kittens because that’s all she knows about me. I don’t even really talk to her except in orchestra,
and now she knows my favorite founding fathers and breeds of cats?
Ollie: Yeah, I guess I can’t say I’m not surprised Simon pulled something off like this.
Linus: Me neither.
Ev: Same, do you think Alex knows?
Ollie: Which one? About what?
Linus: Alexandra or Alexander?
Ev: Uh, either one I guess? If Alexandra Droft knows I don’t like her like that or if Alexander
Dual knows I’m not…like that?
Ev: Like…like-like girls?
(Beat. Both boys are looking at EV, concerned)
Linus: Well, you’re not right?
Ev: (Defensive) No! I’m not, I like boys, I like Alex…ANDER, Alexander…
Ollie: (Comforting, goes to put an arm around her) We got that sweetheart, I talked to him today
and he really likes you.
Ev: (Still unsure and concerned) Really?
Linus: (Does the same thing as OLLIE) Of course, you’re the biggest dork he’s probably ever
come in counter with, what’s not to like?
Ev: (Smiles and looks at the ground, giggles, looks back up at both boys) Thank you guys,
you’re the best
(They all embrace, and stay embraced as OLLIE opens his eyes and worriedly says:)
Ollie: There’s nothing wrong with being…gay, though…right?
Ev and Linus: (Ev) Not at all/(Linus) No?/(Ev) Of course not/(Linus) Why would you ask that?
Ollie: No reason, let’s just go back to hugging.
(They all do so, EV and LINUS look at each other and smile before turning to OLLIE, LIGHTS
fade on the group of friends)
(Setting: SCHOOL HALLWAY. LIGHTS come back on. EV and OLLIE sit on the BENCH while
they wait for SIMON who enters SR with ALEXANDRA. They’re chatting until they reach EV and
OLLIE, where they both stop in their tracks awkwardly)
Simon: Oh, hey…guys
Alexandra: Hey guys!
Ev: Hi Alexandra…Simon.
Simon: I see you guys wanted to get to school early // too.
Ollie: Save it, Simon, we’re here to talk about what you did
Alexandra: What? (Turns to SIMON) Told me what? I don’t–(Turns back to EV and OLLIE in
realization) Ooohh, that. Yeah, Evangeline, he kind…told me…
Ev: (Stands up and heads towards ALEXANDRA) I know girl, let’s take a walk… (They exit SR)
Simon: I shouldn’t have done all of the things I did to you guys. I’m sorry.
Ollie: I know.
Simon: I feel…really bad
Ollie: I know.
(Beat. Simon slowly moves closer to the bench, sits next to OLLIE)
Simon: So, do you still want to be friends?
Ollie: I kno– I mean, um, yeah. You just gotta break things to Ev first my guy, she didn’t
deserve any of what you put her through.
Simon: (Ashamed, looks down at the ground) I know.
Ollie: I mean, telling AlexanDRA that Ev liked her instead of AlexanDER, that was a really
messed up thing to do, I think you should apologize to her too.
Simon: Yeah, you’re right.
Ollie: I know.
Simon: (Chuckles) Yeah, you usually do.
(Beat. They smile at each other)
Simon: (Awkward, blunt) So, uh,….being gay
Ollie: (Puts finger on his mouth like SIMON did to him in the beginning) Sh. Know when to
(They look at each other and laugh, EV and ALEXANDRA enter SR)
Ev: I see you two made up, that’s good.
Alexandra: (Walks up to SIMON, calmly) Simon?
Simon: (Stands up, worried) Yeess?
(ALEXANDRA slaps him, turns to EV, hugs her, thanks her, and walks off SR)
Ev: She’s sweet and feisty? (Jokingly) Maybe I am gay.
Ollie: HA, so you think it’s a choice?
(Beat. OLLIE stops laughing and keeps to himself now)
Simon: (walks slowly towards EV, nervously:) Hi..
Ev: (Arms crossed) Simon.
Simon: Look, Evangeline, I was completely out of line.
Ev: You were.
Simon: I was jealous.
Ev: Most definitely.
Simon: I’ve just, I’ve–I’ve–
Ev: C’mon, spit it out.
Simon: I’ve been like, head over heels for you since we were 8, I get stupid, and I get weird and
my voice cracks and I just adore you and you make me feel things I didn’t think I could and after
10 years, holding it in for so long, I just—
(EV pulls SIMON in for an embrace, SIMON stands there still and shocked. EV pulls away after
some time and looks at him)
Ev: Simon, I love you, but you should probably consider your words and actions before you try
anything with any female, because you’re awful at it.
(OLLIE gestures a dramatic “THANK YOU” with his arms)
Simon: Wow, okay, um. I can’t argue with you. I love you too, Ev.
(OLLIE stands up, coughs loudly, and heads towards them)
Ev and Simon: We love you too Ollie.
Ollie: Aaawweee!!! (Gets in the middle of them and all three hug it out)
(Beat. Lights fade)
Simon: But, not like that though, right?
Ev and Ollie: SIMON
Simon: Right, sorry.
(Lights fade out completely)